


A Christmas Miracle

by scifi



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, Coming Out, M/M, christmas day, i guess u could say this is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 14:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16620638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifi/pseuds/scifi
Summary: dan tells his grandma about phil





	A Christmas Miracle

**Author's Note:**

> this could lowkey be a companion fic for [becoming a lester](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14712951) bc it turns out i like writing dec 09 fics i guess?

It doesn’t usually snow in Wokingham, at least not this early into winter. It’s nothing like the snow that falls up north, that was all fluffy and piled up above his knees. This southern snow felt like an imposter, a soggy blanket that would melt before it has the chance to be beautiful. It was as if the weather was trying to act as a reminder of the days that just past but instead it feels like the snow is taunting him, reminding him that he’s stuck in Wokingham instead of where he’d rather be: Rawtenstall. 

Dan brings his hands to his face, breathing into them as an attempt to warm up. It’s cold inside the church, almost unbearably so. He should have worn an extra layer like his mother had suggested but he wouldn’t be caught dead in the ugly christmas jumper she’d tossed at him. He doesn’t do clothes that are so scratchy that your skin crawls.

The service had been boring like usual but there’s something about tradition that makes it almost enjoyable. Ever since he was a boy his grandma’s congregation had been such a large slice of Christmas Day and he knew these childhood traditions were fleeting. He’s eighteen now and doesn’t want to remain in Wokingham longer than he has to. This may be the last time he kneels on the pews that bruise his knees and listen to old Coraline work her magic on the organ.

They’re all mingling in the hall after the service, Dan’s parents had found their next door neighbours and Adrian’s pocketing cucumber sandwiches even though Dan’s certain he’s never seen the bugger ever eat something green. The lad would do anything for free stuff and not even the spirit of Christmas would stop him.

Dan spots his grandma out in the church garden. It’s freezing outside and the wet snow is still falling sparsely, but she’s out there bent over the rose bushes. They’re nothing but a tangle of thorns at this time of year but she has her clippers out trimming away.  Turns out the spirit of Christmas can’t stop her either.

He steps outside into the cold because he’d rather brave the weather with his grandma than pull crackers with Jan and Norris and all the other churchgoers. His breath billows in front of him and Dan can feel his toes go numb inside his shoes. It reminds him of the other day, when he spent the day out in the snow with Phil. His heart flutters then, just like it did whenever he thinks of that boy. It still seems a bit surreal that he had only been in Phil’s arms yesterday, only leaving because he couldn’t skip Christmas with his family, no matter how much he wanted to.

He didn’t know how well his mum would take it if he spent the day up north with his new found  _ friend _ . Maybe if they knew the truth it could have been different and he could have been having Kath’s infamous roast instead of the slightly burnt turkey his mum was sure to make. Except they don’t know the truth about Phil so he’s stuck here attending the morning service, just like he had for every other Christmas day.

“It’s cold out,” Dan says, walking over to his grandma. “Surely the thorns can wait until tomorrow?”

“Wanted to tidy them yesterday but  _ someone _ had to babysit,” She pretends to be annoyed but Dan can see right through that.

He chuckles, “Would have caught an earlier train if I knew about these thorns. It’s Christmas Grandma, isn’t today about celebrating with others instead of some gardening that can definitely wait until Boxing Day?”

She snips at the rose bush, “If you come down and help me I’ll slip you twenty quid.”

“Bribery,” He gets down on his knees, well aware of how wet and frigid the ground is. “You know me too well.”

He pulls at the snarl of thorns as his grandma snips away the excess. It reminds him of long summer days spent in her garden, tending to the flowers whenever he was forced to spend some time outside of his room. It feels like their own little thing, tending gardens. He isn’t very good at it, his hands are too big and cumbersome, but she never complains. 

“What you brings you out here Daniel, old Norris tried to get you on the piano again?”

“You looked lonely out here, thought you needed company,”  He looks over at her with a grin. “Also wanted to see why you’d be mad enough to brave the snow.”

“It’s just water, that stuff can’t hurt you.”

Dan chuckles. Of course, that’s something she’d say, she’s tougher than leather. “Say that again when you have the sniffles and gotta live off mum’s chicken soup.”

“I’m a tough nut to crack little bear, it’s you who will be getting the sniffles. Why didn’t you rug up?”

He thinks back to the scratchy jumper he refused and how he wouldn’t be caught dead in it but then his eyes widen, he can’t get sick. He’s seeing Phil for New Year’s, he doesn’t want to ruin the night with a runny nose.

Suddenly the jumper sounds like a good idea.

“I can’t get sick!”

His grandma stops pruning the thorns, turning her attention onto him, “You sound terrified of the idea.”

He shrugs, “Going into London for New Year’s, don’t wanna be sick by then.”

“A party is it?” She asks. “With your schoolmates?”

“No, not them,” He hadn’t spent time with his mates in months, not that she’d know that. 

He hesitates for a moment, not sure if he should tell her the truth. Unlike the rest of his family, Dan hates keeping secrets from her.

“I’m going with Phil.”

“Isn’t he the young lad you’ve been visiting in the north?”

He nods. He’s mentioned Phil once or twice, nothing specific.

“Why you going to London then?” She asks and she tugs at the snarl of bare branches.

_ To spend the night together.  _

He doesn’t say it out loud, of course. Instead, he says something vaguer, something that would probably end up provoking more questions.

“He’s got some mates who are throwing a party.”

She grins slyly, “Any pretty girls going?”

Dan feels his stomach knot. He’s always turned to her for girl advice but he wonders what she’d think about how he doesn’t fancy pretty girls anymore, he only fancies a certain handsome boy.

He can feel her lighthearted jest,  but the words land heavy. Instead of smirking back at her like he used to do, Dan shuffles in his spot, eyes focusing on how the snow melts on his jeans

“Grandma…”

“What? A handsome lad like you deserves to have a new year’s kiss,” She elbows his side lightly, seemingly oblivious to his sudden discomfort.

He groans, a tad more exaggerated than he has to, “We’re not talking about this we’re cutting thorns.”

Dan really hates keeping secrets from his Grandmother. She was the first person he told about breaking up with his ex, and the first person he told about meeting her all those years ago. She’s always been the one he’s gone to about love because she’s always there with open arms and a love so warm and comforting. 

He wanted to tell her about Phil after the breakup, that he was one of the reasons why that even happened but he’s never been able to. She may have so much love for him but there’s that fear, the fear of the unknown, that stops him. She doesn’t know that he likes boys too, let alone is dating one. He doesn’t know if it would change anything. If it would stop her from loving him the way she has always done. That unknown is downright scary and out here in the snow, Dan feels vulnerable. 

His grandma goes back to pruning, “How did you meet Phil again?” 

“Internet.” 

She chuckles, “I may be an old girl but isn’t it bad to talk to strangers on the internet?”

He smiles, “He wasn’t a stranger. He’s a YouTuber.”

“That’s the red thing yeah?”

That makes him laugh, genuinely laugh. “I thought you were meant to be hip and cool?”

She shrugs, “I’m an old dog, we take a while to learn new tricks.”

“Yeah gran, it’s the red thing. Phil makes videos on there, pretty good ones actually,” Dan says.

“I’m glad you met him little bear, it’s good to see you smile again.”

She says that with such genuine fondness that it throws him off guard. He wishes she knew just how happy he’s been in the last few months, all because of Phil. 

He looks around the Church garden, it’s only the two of them outside. They’re the only people stupid enough to be out here in the snow. It’s just him and his grandma, the one person, save for Phil, that he can trust.

He really hates keeping secrets from her.

“There’s something else,” Dan says, his voice quiet. 

He doesn’t know if now’s the right time, or if there will ever be a right time. Except now, out in the snow, his fingers and nose numb from the cold, it feels like maybe now’s his best bet. Now’s the only time he has alone with her.

She puts down her pruner, leaning back on her heels to give him full attention. His eyes meet hers and they are nothing but comforting. He  _ really _ can’t keep a secret this big from her. He doesn’t want Phil to be something he has to hide.

“Phil…” He trails off, unsure of how to say it. “Phil and I are pretty close.”

She doesn’t respond or ask for clarification or act mortified. Not that he’d expected any of those reactions but he had expected more than the steady gaze she’s giving him. Suddenly he feels his body tremble, and it isn’t from the cold. There’s no going back now.

He looks down at the rose bush, he has to look somewhere, anywhere but her. He’s not brave enough to say it to those loving brown eyes and potentially see her heart break.

“Phil and I… we’re together.”

She doesn’t react straight away. She’s like an immovable object in the snow and Dan can hear his own heart race in the silence. He’s too afraid of looking away from the thorns. He’s just told her something no one but the Lester’s know about and it’s fucking terrifying. 

“Do you love him?”

Those words make him jump. He wasn’t expecting that.

He nods. “A lot.”

“And he loves you?” She asks. He can barely hear her over the pounding of his own heart.

He pulls his eyes from the thorns so he can look at her. She doesn’t look angry, or sad, or any other negative emotion he had played out in his head. She looks happy. He wasn’t expecting happy.

He smiles, “Yeah.”

“That’s wonderful dear,” She smiles so softly

“Grandma?” 

“Yes, Daniel?”

“You’re not mad?”  It’s more of a statement rather than a question. She’s taking it well, so much better than expected but then again this is the same woman who has always smothered him in so much love. He shouldn’t be surprised but he is. 

“No.”

“Disappointed?”

“Why would I be disappointed dear?”

“That Phil’s...That he’s a boy.”

The part feels weird to say.  

“My little bear, you’re happy and in love, that’s all I care about. I’ve been so worried for you these past few months, knowing you’ve been lonely but this? This is the Christmas miracle I prayed for. You have too much love in your heart not to have someone special and if Phil’s your special someone then I can be nothing but delighted.”

Dan doesn’t realise he’s started crying until his vision blurs and he feels his grandmother’s arms wrap around him.

“Don’t cry your tears will freeze and we can’t have that.” She says softly as she squeezes him tightly. “Does he treat you well?”

He nods into the crook of her neck.

“Do your parents know?”

He freezes at this. Telling her may have been easier than anticipated but his parents wouldn’t be the same. They don’t look at him with the same warmth and affection that she does. 

“No,” He says quietly. “Only you.”

“My sweet,” She presses her lips against his temple. “All they want for you is to be happy. You know that right?”

He nods. He knows but they’re not the same as her. He doesn’t feel guilty keeping secrets from them like he does his grandma. One day they’ll know. One day he’ll bring Phil down to Wokingham instead of always going up north to visit. Eventually, these secrets will just be memories but for now they’re still secrets. 

She holds him for a while until his body feels like an icicle and his clothes are damp with snowmelt. He didn’t expect his Christmas day to wind up like this. He expected a boring church service followed by a messy lunch and drinking too much wine but this, this is so much better.

They pull apart after hugging for far too long and he grins, “Thank you.”

She reaches up to swipe under his eyes, “Now we best get back inside, the garden looks presentable now.”

He rolls his eyes nonchalantly, “Still don’t know why you needed to tidy them on Christmas Day.”

“It’s thorns or other oldies, at least these prickly things don’t beat me at bingo,” She says with a grin and Dan can’t help but laugh. 

“You’re the best you know that right?”

“Bear, I mean it. All any of us want for you is to be happy and I’ve never seen you smile this brightly in a long while. I hope to meet your Phil one day so I can thank him for this,” She says before pinching his cheek.

“Ow!”

“Merry Christmas my dear, now come on, don’t want you getting sick.”

He gets up off the ground, his pants sodden from the snow but he doesn’t mind. He’s thankful for his grandma being crazy enough to brave the weather just to make the Church garden look nice because it gave him this opportunity, this little step towards not keeping secrets from those he loves the most. 

One day his whole family would know about how much Phil means to him but for now, his Grandma was more than enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr](http://scifiphan.tumblr.com) or [rebloggu the post](https://scifiphan.tumblr.com/post/180102804751/a-christmas-miracle) uwu


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